Five months have passed since I’ve written a single word. Every time I tried to put pen to paper, nothing came out. It wasn’t just the writing that felt forced...I felt forced. Moving through the days, holding my breath, trying to keep life the same even though everything in me knew it wasn’t.

In every story of healing or restoration, there’s always one thing that comes first—faith. The Savior never just steps in out of nowhere. Over and over, He makes it clear: “It’s because of your belief.” His word is filled with moments where miracles happened because someone believed—where power was made manifest because someone had faith. One verse even says it plain: “It was by faith that miracles were wrought.” (Ether 12:16)

I can’t pinpoint the exact day I walked away from God…Or even the little steps I took that led me so far from Him.But I do remember how lost I felt when I was away.

I want you to take a moment and picture your greatest potential.The version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of becoming.The life you’ve imagined living—the peace, the purpose, the freedom.

Heavenly Father moved on me tonight and I couldn't sleep. Sitting up thinking about how blessed I am to wake another day and feel my Heavenly Fathers love. In honor/memory of my beautiful cousin Jennifer, I wrote this. Remembering what matters most in this life.

The Lord spoke soo clearly to me today “Why do tears continue to feel your eyes over something I promised is already yours?” 

The very move you’re too scared to make is the one that could change everything for you. So do it scared.

This time just a few years ago life looked a lot different for me. Going through something that truly broke me and I thought surely would be the end of me showed me how merciful of a Father we have.I wrote in my journal this time two years ago. “God please just make this pain end. I can’t breathe, I can’t keep any food down, and I feel like I am being buried. Please just save us.” It was then I heard that still soft voice say to me, “You were not buried, you were planted.” I couldn’t understand Him then, but as I sit here planted in this garden as a bloomed sunflower,  I know what He meant. 

This season has been such a good one let me tell you. Finally and completely surrendering certain things makes me realize it was never best in my hands from the beginning. Wanting control only stemmed from the deception and lies I was being fed and choosing to eat. I was convinced that if I could control it from start to finish, the ending would be fine. I wouldn’t get hurt. This was all Satan’s plan though. This was the biggest lie.

As I sit here at this computer desk I am surrounded by and covered in a puddle of my own tears. The feeling of defeat overcame me so strongly. For a second, the enemy had me believing he won all over again. Then, God gave me Josh.

This season, I feel a boldness I can’t explain. A boldness that comes so strongly from my Savior. To live and love in all the ways he did. How many times was he mocked, scoffed at, beaten down, etc. How many sought to destroy his name? 

Learning to trust in God's timing is not an easy overnight thing. In a world where you can have anything at your fingertips within minutes, it's too easy to become someone that expects things instantly and or even demands it. His timing, is always on time though. It's better to wait for his perfect timing for things to fall into place, rather than rush it and watch it all fall apart again.