The light that's calling you home. - April 28th, 2025.

I can’t pinpoint the exact day I walked away from God…
Or even the little steps I took that led me so far from Him.
But I do remember how lost I felt when I was away.

I remember the brokenness.
The anger.
The pain that consumed me.
And deep down, I remember just how badly I was longing for home.
But still—I sat with the spirit of rebellion for far too long…
And I refused to go back.

You want to know the dumbest part?
Being away from God was so uncomfortable.
And the whole time, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
But I didn’t do it.
Why?

I wish I had an answer.

I wish I would’ve come back sooner—because wow, the tears and pain I could’ve saved myself.
But if I’m honest…
Erasing my past mistakes would also erase the wisdom I carry now.
The depth of repentance I walked through.
And the faith I was blessed to develop in the middle of it.

Like God says,
“What the enemy meant for evil, I will use for good.”

And He has.
Over and over again.

The breaking?
Yeah—it’s painful.
It’s suffocating.
It’s isolating.
It’ll stretch you more than you think you can bear.

But hang on.
Because it gets better.

The pain doesn’t last forever.
It’s a lot like labor—intense, raw, and full of pressure…
But then?

Then comes the most beautiful gift God could ever give you.

And trust me—it’s worth every second of the breaking.

I feel like I’m finally reaching the end of labor.
The hard part is done.
I pushed.
I broke.
I wept.
I endured the refining fire.

And now?
Now it’s time to rejoice in what my Father promised me.
It’s time to give birth.

Not just to a blessing—
But to who I truly am.
To the daughter He called me to be.
The one who walks uprightly, clothed in strength and dignity.
Not easily shaken by the adversary.
Not silenced by fear.
Not bound by shame.

The kind of woman who binds and rebukes the enemy as effortlessly as hitting the snooze button on her alarm clock.
The kind of woman who survived the bootcamp—
endured the battlefield—
and carries the scars as proof.

But even more—she carries a strength that only comes from One.

⸻

The One who gave me breath…
The One who entrusted me with this very journey…
Has carried me through every twist, every turn,
Every valley, every climb,
Every breaking—and every becoming.

My Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer—how I love You.

Let these words serve not to magnify me,
But to bear witness to Your goodness.

May every line be a testimony
That through You, all things are possible.

Not to showcase my worth—
But to proclaim that You are everything.

And through these words,
Let my brothers and sisters know this simple, eternal truth:

It all begins with You.

Trust me on this one!

If there’s anything you take away from my words, let it be this:

Just choose Him.

Choose Him with your everything—
Your life.
Your marriage.
Your children.
Your family.
Your choices.
Your career.
Your health.
Every corner of your existence.

Let Him be your first.
Let Him be your foundation—the truest Rock there is.

Because when He is your foundation,
Even if the walls fall…
Even if the roof caves in…
You will not be moved.

Letting my Heavenly Father into my heart has changed me in ways no blog, no book, and no words could ever fully express.

The very things I once felt chained and bound by—
I’ve been set free from.

The anger that once consumed me…
The pain that sat heavy on my body…
The tormenting thoughts that filled my mind…

All of it—replaced.
With peace.
With love.
With a new fight for life.

⸻

For a long time, I was angry—so angry.
Angry at God.
How could He continue to allow my pain to consume me…

But here’s the truth I couldn’t see then:

It was my choice to see the glass half empty.
It was my choice to stay bitter.
Excuse after excuse found me.
And instead of facing myself,
I pointed fingers at the ones holding up the mirror.

But now?
Now I’m grateful for that mirror.
I’m thankful I was forced to look.
Because what I saw…
Was a woman wasting the very life her son never got to live.

And now I know—

Labor pains do fade.
The breaking does pass.
And what’s waiting on the other side…
Is the gift of living.

You owe it to yourself  to see and feel this 

Like I said in my blog back in March:
You owe it to yourself to see what the other side looks like.

And you know what else?

You owe it to yourself to feel your Father’s embrace when He welcomes you home.

I know it seems scary.
Trust me—I was there.

You start questioning everything:
“What if I’m scolded when I come home?”
“What if He tells me how awful I was for ever leaving?”
“What if the door gets slammed in my face?”

I get it.
The unknown can feel terrifying.
But hear me clearly—the speech you’re rehearsing doesn’t matter.
You don’t need to explain your absence.
You don’t need to grovel at the doorstep.
You don’t need to beg for forgiveness.

Your Father isn’t waiting with a list of what you did wrong.
He’s waiting with open arms.

And you want to know something wild?

That fear you feel—the one keeping you from running home?
That’s actually proof of how high the calling is on your life.
The enemy is terrified of what you’re becoming.

That’s why he fights so hard.
That’s why he’s been lurking, tempting, twisting, and trying to drag you deeper into addiction, shame, and despair.

Because he knows.

He knows that once you return home,
Once you surrender…
Your addictions will become your testimony.
Your chains will become your strength.
And your story?
It’s going to help others break free too.

⸻

All that guilt you’re carrying?
Yeah—God will walk you through a repentance process.
And I’m not going to lie to you—
It’s painful.
Not because He’s cruel,
But because He’s healing you at the root.

He’ll force you to feel the pain you’ve been avoiding—
But also to face the pain you’ve caused.

Whew.
Brace yourself for that season.
It’s humbling.
It’s heavy.

But you will make it through.

And on the other side?
Is freedom.
Real, lasting, soul-healing freedom.

He's waiting with open arms

Our Father is waiting—arms wide open—ready to welcome you home.
He never left you.
He never abandoned you.
And He never will.

It’s we who walk away.
It’s we who get caught in the lies and wander off the path.

From one prodigal to another—
Please don’t let the fear of being scolded keep you from coming home.

He’s not angry.
He’s not holding a grudge.
His arms are just ready to embrace you.

The fear that’s been gripping you?
It loses its power the moment you finally face it.
The guilt that’s been choking you?
It can’t hold you anymore once you choose to lay it at the cross.

But hear me:
You must do your part.

And yes, it hurts.
Yes, it’s hard.
Yes, it will challenge every part of you.

But I promise you—
The life waiting on the other side is so much better than the one you’re leaving behind.

The man or woman you’ve been?
That’s not who you have to stay.

Be refined—by the truest Refiner there is.

Because the moment you surrender it all to Him,
The worldly chains of pain, addiction, fear, and sorrow—they break.
Not by your strength, but by His.

This is your season to see those chains fall and collapse.
Because they no longer have any right to hold you.

So turn to Him.
Go home, prodigal—it’s time.

You’ve run long enough.
And baby, I know you’re not comfortable.
Sin may feel warm for a while—
But it’s just a space heater in a cold room.
Sit too long in it, and you’ll start to burn.

It’s not worth it.

Run back into the arms of your Father.
Choose Him.
Not once.
Not occasionally.
But every day.

Because the enemy wants you stuck.
He waits. He preys.
He bets on you failing.
He wants you numb, angry, bitter, addicted, and convinced that God’s love is no longer for you.

But it is.

That addiction?
It’s cancer.
It won’t go away quietly—it will grow until it takes you over.
That shame, that fear, that guilt?
It’s just chains you’re choosing to wear.

But you have a choice.

Return to Him, and He will return to you.

He’ll break those chains.
He’ll silence that shame.
He’ll do what no one else could ever do—He’ll redeem it all.

Lay it at the cross—and this time?
Don’t pick it back up.

His Word still stands.
His promises still hold weight.
He still has the final say.

He will make a way if you’ll just turn to Him.

He will break every single chain.

So go home, prodigal.
Go home.

As a prodigal, I know the anger you’re carrying.
I know the sleepless nights, the mental torment, the guilt that loops in your mind.
I lived it.
I felt it.
And I’m here to tell you—I know exactly where the escape is.

It’s not in running further.
It’s in running home.

You wanna get mad?
Get mad at Satan.
Because he’s the one who leads us to destruction.
He’s the one who feeds the lies.
He’s the one who wants you stuck, hurting, numbing, and spiraling.

But listen to me:
Your anger is not too big for God.
Your past mistakes are not too heavy for Him to carry.
There’s nothing too broken for Him to redeem.

Impossible?
That’s what our Father does best.

That broken heart?
That shattered marriage?
That divided family?
That diagnosis?
That’s where He shows up best.

But you’ve got to put it in His hands—
And then leave it there.

Now picture this:
The most broken pieces of you—your worst fears, your darkest moments, your biggest failures—all sitting in His hands.

What do you think He would do with it?

Where do you think He would take you because of it?

Do you really believe it’s too much for Him?

Because I promise you—it’s not.

The seasons He takes you into after you finally hand Him those broken pieces?
They’re hard.
They’ll stretch you, test you, and refine you.
But like I’ve said before—they are beyond worth it.

I’m so thankful for the seasons that came before this one.
Yes—they were some of the most painful.
But standing here now, I can say with full humility:
I’m not just a changed woman…
I’m a saved woman.

He saved me—
In every way a woman can be saved.
Emotionally. Spiritually. Mentally. Physically.

And I owe it all to Him.

So that’s why I keep writing.
(Enough to put J.K. Rowling out of business—kidding, me and Ry love you, girl. 😄)
But you get the picture.

I write and write and write,
Because I want people to see what Jesus can do with a woman who was shattered—
Who handed Him every broken little piece of her life.

⸻

That brokenness you’re carrying?
That anger, addiction, shame, guilt, fear, anxiety?
It’s not the end of your story.
It’s just the set-up for His glory.

What the enemy meant for evil—
God turned for good.
He made a new way for me.

He took my illness, my pain, my bitterness, my fear,
My shame, my guilt, my frustration, my anxiety—
And He replaced it with fire.

A fire for Jesus.
A love for this life I almost gave up on.
A surrender I didn’t know was possible.

My Savior, Jesus Christ, did that.
For me.

And guess what?

What He does for one, He will do for all.

So if you’re reading this and wondering if you’re too far gone…
You’re not.
Your story isn’t over.
And your breakthrough is closer than you think.

This next season?
I’m ready for it.

I’ve done the breaking.
I’ve fought through the refining fire.
I’ve wept through deep surrender.
And now—it’s time.

This is the season where God’s promises come through.
Everything the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy—restored back to me, double.
My cup will overflow, and I will pour out into more and more.

My womb will carry a blessing straight from God.
My marriage will be stronger than ever—centered completely on Jesus Christ.

Satan thought he had me.
But Jesus said, “You are Mine.”

⸻

No matter what season you’re in,
Please understand—being refined is a process.
It doesn’t happen overnight.
So give yourself grace.
Be patient with your becoming.
And as I always say:
Water your garden of faith, daily.

God’s got this.
I’m living proof.

So what are you waiting for?

⸻

It’s time to go home, Prodigal.

Return to what God is calling you to.
Return to what you left behind.
Choose your Heavenly Father.
Choose your marriage.
Choose your children.
Choose to stop running.

The arms you fear will never embrace you again?
They’ve been waiting and praying for your return every single day.

Don’t forget this:
What you see right now is only the surface.
Behind every scene, God is working.

⸻

I bear testimony—
That my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ—my Redeemer—
Died for both my sins and yours.

I testify of the power in His Word—
That when you immerse yourself in it,
You clothe yourself with a shield of truth that silences the enemy.

I testify of His restored gospel.
I know—with certainty—that His way is, and always will be,
The only path to true and eternal joy.

⸻

Whatever the enemy meant for evil,
God will turn it for your good.

Whatever lie is keeping you from coming home—
Whatever voice says you’re too far gone or too unworthy—
That is a lie straight from the pit of hell.

I want you home.
We want you home.
But more importantly—Jesus is calling you home.

So make the choice.
Today.

Stop running.

Your Heavenly Father,
Your earthly parents,
Your spouse,
Your children,
Your siblings,
And your God-given purpose—
They’re all calling you back.

Come home.

⸻

I believe in you.
Hold on, Prodigal.
I know it’s scary.
I know it’s hard.
But what’s waiting for you—it’s worth every moment of the pain you’ll have to face.

Just come home.
Don’t wait.

We’re waiting.
You’re forgiven.
And we love you.